12 Modern non-religious wedding readings for contemporary couples
We spend a lot of time thinking about words. The ones pressed into paper, the ones read aloud in quiet moments and the ones that somehow say exactly what you didn’t know you needed to hear. Nowhere do words carry more weight than in a wedding ceremony.
Couples planning their big day spend so much energy on the details of the celebration and it’s easy for the ceremony itself to become an afterthought. But the words spoken in that room are the ones people remember. They’re worth taking seriously.
The twelve modern readings gathered here speak about love honestly. About the ordinary days and the hard ones, about choosing each other not just once but over and over. From spoken word and contemporary essays to television scripts and reflections on science, they suit civil ceremonies, celebrant-led ceremonies and intimate gatherings alike. What they have in common is that they feel like something a real person might actually say.
We hope you find something here that sounds a little like you.
You can pin your favourite readings to your wedding readings Pinterest board from below.
12 Modern Non-Religious Wedding Readings
Gravitation — Albert Einstein
Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?
Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour.
Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute.
That’s relativity.
The Hot Priest's Speech from Fleabag — Phoebe Waller-Bridge
Love is awful.
It’s awful.
It’s painful.
It’s frightening.
It makes you doubt yourself, judge yourself, distance yourself from the other people in your life.
It makes you selfish.
It makes you creepy, makes you obsessed with your hair, makes you cruel, makes you say and do things you never thought you would do.
It’s all any of us want, and it’s hell when we get there.
So no wonder it’s something we don’t want to do on our own.
I was taught if we’re born with love then life is about choosing the right place to put it.
People talk about that a lot, feeling right, when it feels right, it’s easy.
But I’m not sure that’s true.
It takes strength to know what’s right.
And love isn’t something that weak people do.
Being a romantic takes a hell of a lot of hope.
I think what they mean is, when you find somebody that you love, it feels like hope.
All I Know About Love — Neil Gaiman
This is everything I have to tell you about love: nothing.
This is everything I’ve learned about marriage: nothing.
Only that the world out there is complicated,
and there are beasts in the night,
and delight and pain,
and the only thing that makes it okay, sometimes,
is to reach out a hand in the darkness and find another hand to squeeze,
and not to be alone.
It’s not the kisses, or never just the kisses: it’s what they mean.
Somebody’s got your back.
Somebody knows your worst self and somehow doesn’t want to rescue you or send for the army to rescue them.
It’s not two broken halves becoming one.
It’s the light from a distant lighthouse bringing you both safely home because home is wherever you are both together.
So this is everything I have to tell you about love and marriage:
nothing, like a book without pages or a forest without trees.
Because there are things you cannot know before you experience them.
Because no study can prepare you for the joys or the trials.
Because nobody else’s love, nobody else’s marriage, is like yours,
and it’s a road you can only learn by walking it,
a dance you cannot be taught,
a song that did not exist before you began, together, to sing.
And because in the darkness you will reach out a hand,
not knowing for certain if someone else is even there.
And your hands will meet, and then neither of you will ever need to be alone again. And that’s all I know about love.
Union — Robert Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way.
All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with
“I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late-night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart.
All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”
Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.
For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.
The Art of Marriage — Wilferd A. Peterson
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.
It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.
A Vow — Wendy Cope
I cannot promise never to be angry;
I cannot promise always to be kind.
You know what you’re taking on, my darling
It’s only at the start that love is blind.
And yet I’m still the one you want to be with
And you’re the one for me – of that I’m sure.
You’re my closest friend, my favourite person,
The lover and the home I’ve waited for.
I cannot promise that I will deserve you
From this day on. I hope to pass that test.
I love you, and I want to make you happy.
I promise I will do my very best.
The Relationship Promise — Luke Wright
I promise, my darling, to be your best friend
to settle the quarrels before the day ends
to teach you new things and learn in return
halve debts, colds and baths, and share laughs and concerns.
I promise, my love, to be silly with you
to giggle in restaurants and cinema queues
the romance and hum-drum all blended to bliss
a life battle-plan that’s sealed with a kiss.
From school runs and house work to sweet pillow talk
from mortgage repayments to long country walks
a cuppa in bed when the morning begins
and then when it’s over, I’ll pour you a gin.
I promise I’ll seek to avoid nasty schisms
I know that at times we’ll need two televisions
I love you so much that whenever we fight
I’ll learn to repeat: I was wrong, you were right.
I’ll cook for you darling, that’s what love’s about
a meal made from scratch is worth one hundred out
I’ll shield you from worries that swing overhead
I promise I’ll try to be awesome in bed.
I promise, my darling, I’ll give you your space
when you’re on the loo, dear, I’ll spare you my face
but know that I’ll be there when your spirit sinks
to match you for messiness, cuddles and drinks.
I love you, my darling, so let’s live together
stack days into decades to make our forever.
Ever-Increasing Circles — Helen Marsh
Joining hands, we become a circle,
Complete, connected and timeless,
We are whole, but not exclusive,
We are one and we will live as one,
But with endless others encircled around us,
Our marriage is neither beginning or end,
But a natural progression of our union,
Which finds us bound but not restricted,
All that was separate yields and flows,
Softly, towards the shared path of our future,
On the foundation of past knowledge,
We build modern family, a space of love,
An expanding community of new and old,
Emitting love, light and sublime acceptance,
We find all things reflected back at us,
Everything is provided for,
Together we hand-craft our next life phase,
It is all embracing, welcoming and generous,
The sensuous safety of our self made space,
Helps us to live bravely and without boundaries,
Here we nurture, thrive and multiply,
All history is ours now, set down by us, made by us,
Strong roots continually feed us, everything is possible,
We grow, we build, we share eternally now,
And holding hands, we look up, prepare,
For there is still far to go…
Invisible Kisses — Lemn Sissay
If there was ever one
Whom when you were sleeping
Would wipe your tears
When in dreams you were weeping;
Who would offer you time
When others demand;
Whose love lay more infinite
Than grains of sand.
If there was ever one
To whom you could cry;
Who would gather each tear
And blow it dry;
Who would offer help
On the mountains of time;
Who would stop to let each sunset
Soothe the jaded mind.
If there was ever one
To whom when you run
Will push back the clouds
So you are bathed in sun;
Who would open arms
If you would fall;
Who would show you everything
If you lost it all.
If there was ever one
Who when you achieve
Was there before the dream
And even then believed;
Who would clear the air
When it’s full of loss;
Who would count love
Before the cost.
If there was ever one
Who when you are cold
Will summon warm air
For your hands to hold;
Who would make peace
In pouring pain,
Make laughter fall
In falling rain.
If there was ever one
Who can offer you this and more;
Who in keyless rooms
Can open doors;
Who in open doors
Can see open fields
And in open fields
See harvests yield.
Then see only my face
In reflection of these tides
Through the clear water
Beyond the river side.
All I can send is love
In all that this is
A poem and a necklace
Of invisible kisses.
Paths and Journeys — Thomas Hardy
We are all on our own paths, all on our own journeys.
Sometimes the paths cross, and people arrive at the crossing points at the same time and meet each other.
There are greetings, pleasantries are exchanged, and then they move on.
But then once in a while the pleasantries become more, friendship grows, deeper links are made, hands are joined and love flies.
The friendship has turned into love.
Paths are joined, one path with two people walking it, both going in the same direction, and sharing each other's journeys.
They will now skip together in harmony and love, sharing joys and sorrows, hopes and fears, strengthening and upholding each other as they walk along side by side.
At home by the fire, whenever I look up, there you will be.
And whenever you look up, there I shall be.
I'll Be There for You — Louise Cuddon
I’ll be there my darling, through thick and through thin.
When your mind’s in a mess and your head’s in a spin.
When your plane’s been delayed, and you’ve missed the last train.
When life is just threatening to drive you insane.
When your thrilling whodunit has lost its last page.
When somebody tells you, you’re looking your age.
When your coffee’s too cool, and your wine is too warm.
When the forecast said “Fine”, but you’re out in a storm.
When your quick break hotel, turns into a slum
and your holiday photos show only your thumb.
When you park for five minutes in a resident’s bay,
and return to discover you’ve been towed away.
When the jeans that you bought in hope or in haste
Just stick on your hips and don’t reach around your waist.
When the food you most like brings you out in red rashes.
When as soon as you boot up the bloody thing crashes.
So my darling, my sweetheart, my dear…
When you break a rule, when you act the fool,
When you’ve got the flu, when you’re in a stew,
When you’re last in the queue, don’t feel blue
’cause I’m telling you, I’ll be there.
"His Hello" from Sex and the City — Carrie Bradshaw
His hello was the end of her endings,
Her laugh was their first step down the aisle,
His hand would be hers to hold forever,
His forever was as simple as her smile,
He said she was what was missing,
She said instantly she knew,
She was a question to be answered,
And his answer was 'I do’.
A note on choosing your reading
We always say: don’t choose a reading because it sounds impressive. Choose it because when you read it quietly to yourself, something in you recognises it.
Modern non-religious wedding readings tend to reflect love as it's actually lived. Maybe it’s Neil Gaiman, with its gentle admission that nobody really knows how any of this works, but that reaching out a hand in the dark is enough. Maybe it’s Luke Wright, which lets a little laughter into the room and says yes, this is real life, and we’re choosing it together anyway. Maybe it’s the Fleabag speech, which is brave enough to say love is hard before it says love is hope.
The readings people remember aren’t always the most poetic. They’re the ones that felt true. The ones where a guest in the third row quietly exhaled, or someone’s hand found someone else’s without thinking.
If you’re still deciding, read them aloud. Not in your head, actually out loud. You’ll know.
Still deciding? Take a look at our dedicated posts on romantic readings, funny favourites and shorter ceremony options, or head back to our complete guide, The Best Non-Religious Wedding Readings: Your Complete Guide, to browse everything in one place.
